Weekend News

Hey Girls....I spent the weekend in Rehoboth beach, Delaware...Steve's son Kyle had a baseball tournament there....It was an INTERESTING weekend....I am the most non competetive person alive, so the concept of these hardcore sports parents (Steve included)is difficult to wrap my head around.....I sometimes wonder if the kids even WANT to be there...There's just so much pressure on them....It's a ballgame, people, not a life and death situation...Steve gets quite intense when he's actually watching the games, so he really doesn't TALK alot during them....That's a long time not talking when you have a double header....I was thankful his ex(Martine) was there to chat with and share some Mike's hard lemonades with... (Also ladies-I am digging the drink "Sweet Tea vodka and lemonade"...BIG yum...Anyone had 'em?)....Seeing that Martine's boyfriend wasn't there, she was kind of alone because Kyle was off with the kids all the time....I felt compelled to include her in everything with Steve and I... Sometimes it's a little odd, but I would feel aweful if someone didn't extend an invite if I was by myself.... The other tough factor of the weekend was the HEAT....Sitting outside in in was rough (I'm wimpy like that).....So, the weekend certainly wasn't one of our better ones, but the idea was to be there for Kyle-and that's all that counts....Love ya. A.

Rule: Are there rules?????

I noted a few "rule breaking" quotes because I have had a lot of fun writing the "rules" I learned in my life during the blogging process....More accurately, they are just "things" that I learned along the way as I find myself older (yuk!)and hopefully wiser.....I think that there is quite a path of self discovery during a woman's life....As time goes on, our "BS" meter is infinitely more attuned, and we become more aware of what is good for us, and what is not....To embrace the positive things in our lives, we have to accept what "went wrong", or didn't play out as planned (ha!-what EVER goes as "planned?"), learn from it, and keep moving forward....I find that I am easier on myself than I was when I was younger...I accept that "perfect" will never be attained, and I "settle" for just being the best friend, sister, daughter, Godmother, aunt, niece, and girlfriend that I can be... Women can be series of contradictions....I like to think of it as the "X" factor that keeps us "interesting!"

Rules Quotes

"Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
Franklin D. Roosevelt"

Rules Quotes

"Live one day at a time emphasizing ethics rather than rules.
Wayne Dyer"

Rules Quotes

"If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere."
Marilyn Monroe"

Will Durant quotes

"Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy; We learn the rules of life and become better players of the game”"

Rule: Say What You Need To Say

Ala John Mayer (no relation-though his family lived literally next to my grandmother for YEARS...Mayer next door to Mayer, and NO relation!)...This "rule" is something that I have to remind myself of....I sometimes go into a passive place of "Whatever you want", or "I don't care,your decision"...I think that was just easier to flow with in my former relationship...My needs seemed to matter a tad less than his....NOW, I realize more than ever that my thoughts count equally...I clearly remember early on with Steve one Saturday we were getting together after he dropped his son off....I hadn't heard from him, and it was 6:00...I called him to "make sure" we were still getting together...He told me then and there that he NEVER doesn't do what he says he's going to do, plans or otherwise....I am exactly the same way in that respect...If I make plans with someone, short of a horrific illness, I'm there!!!....Steve has never wavered from always mastering the "follow through"....The old me would have waited and waited for the phone to ring on that first Saturday in question, BUT I had to put my own mind at ease, and I'm happy that I did so...It's ok to express when you are uncertain about things in a relationship...It's ok to ask for clarification on where you "stand", and it's ok to answer the truth when you are asked "What's wrong, you seem a little upset"....I no longer say "nothing", to let an issue slip quietly away ...I say what I need to say---nuff said.

Rule" "You Gotta Have Friends"

The one "rule" that I always got "right" was to always put my girlfriends high up on the priority list....I could always count on my girlfriends (not so much the boyfriends!)....I have a crazy assortment of special ladies in my life....from "younguns" in their twenties, to a woman who practically adopted me, who just turned 60 today!...Each one holds a special place in my heart, but the one common thread is that they support me in everything I do, and vice versa....My best friend Cindy and I have been through the trenches together...She has supported me through every "double pumping it" cry(my favorite line in Eat, Pray, Love) after my 2 major breakups, and worse when my mother passed away...I literally cried EVERY day for an entire year (all while submerging myself in an internship and getting my Master's degree)....I was there for her 13 years ago when she found out she was pregnant the day after her and her boyfriend broke up...I was her queasy labor coach, and brought my beautiful goddson into this world with her...We have been through it ALL together and she feels more like my sister, than my sister!...We are very different in how we approach life, but we totally "get" one another... One commonality that we have is laughter....We are always laughing, the "pee in your pants kind of laughing...So ladylike!....I think of her in the song "For Good" in "Wicked", I feel that everything I am, and everything that she is, have been influenced by each other....Now that I have a wonderful man in my life, I treasure my girlfriends even more....There is plenty of room for my friends AND my boyfriend in my life.... So, this post's for the girls!....Thank you. Thank you. Thank You.

Signs that Dad needs a hearing aid...

I got exciting news this week...Steve is in sales and was notified that he made CEO club, translated means: we are going to Lanai, Hawaii the first week in August, for FREE!!!....Has anyone ever been???...If so, I'd love to hear details....I've had fun during the week, joking with my co-workers and finding ANY opportunity to weave "Hawaii" into the conversation....Such as: A few girls were talking about the LOST finale, I segued in and asked "Excuse me, do you happen to know where they filmed the show...pause, That's right, Hawaii!"...Too fuuny...Well, I realized the other night that I failed to mention the trip to my dad and proceeded to tell him I was going to Lanai....He paused and asked me where again, and I told him "Lanai"....He then asked, "Oahu?", and I said "No, Lanai"..That appeased him for the moment....Well, last night he said "Honey, where did you say you were going to in Hawaii?", I again said "Lanai", He said, "OH!!!!, I though you had said ONE EYE"....Good ol' One Eye, Hawaii!?....Maybe he thought I was going to "Hawai"(one i) Dad needs a hearing aid. :)

Part 2

Following my eye surgery, My doctor informed me that my biopsy turned out being non-malignant--Woo-Hoo!....My doctor mentioned that the tumors could have just been a random occurance,OR less likely, a disease called sarcoidosis...He said that is was unlikely it would be that particular disease because it primarily would affect African-American women between 20-30 (I'm neither)....I went for a chest x-ray b/c oddly enough, this disease actually affects your lungs AND eyes...I confidently went for the x-ray, knowing that there was nothing wrong with me....I got a call a few days later and they said that the x-ray was "inconclusive" and they wanted to send me for a catscan...A few days following the catscan, I recvd. a call from the physicians assistant at my doctor's office....She told me that they saw something on my lungs that could be either the sarcoidosis OR lymphoma...She told me so quickly and matter of factly that my heart almost stopped...NO bedside manner whatsoever. They already made an appointment for me to go directly to a pulmonologist for evaluation.

There was no time to even get anybody to go with me, so off I went praying to God that this would all be ok....I got to the pulmonologist and was told that the office was so busy that day that they couldn't squeeze me in...This was a Friday. They made another appointment for Monday...Now the whole weekend was going to go by not knowing what was happening to me. Steve took me to a Yankee game that night and followed that with a weekend in Newport to keep my mind busy....Even with the worry, we had a great time. The following Monday I was diagnosed with the sarcoidosis (I thought, phew! better than lymphoma, at this point!!!) He called it a disease in "slow motion" and that it can actually go into remission. I feel like there is NOTHING wrong with me...I have no breathing issues at all. This was all three years ago, and the only time I give this a second thought, is when I have to go for my 6 month check ups. I refuse to go online and read about this b/c everyones experience with the disease is so varied, nothing is the "norm"..Also, there is nothing I can "take" to make it go away...Nothing I can change about the way I live to make anything different....So why become a "Web MD"???...Last July, My doctor was so pleased w/my breathing tests and miniscule lung change on the catscan that he didn't want to see me again until THIS July!...Now THAT'S progress....I don't obsess over this, I pray that things will be fine, and I continue living and loving the life that I have....I feel GREAT!....So maybe I'll be packin' an oxygen tank in my old age ;), who doesn't have issues?!