Rule: It's better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel lonely.

I read a book years ago called "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" This book was recently made into a screenplay by Nora Ephron. It was a quick read but extremely powerful in the messages that it sent. The author drew sketches of particular outfits that she wore for milestone events in her life...From marraige to the death of a child...Intense. One line that resonated with me was the quote, "It's better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel lonely." Emotional availabilty is what she was referring to. I happen to be with a man who has an exceptionally busy schedule. He has a 12 year old son who plays hockey, soccer, AND baseball, he coaches his son's Little League team, commutes to New York City 3-4 days to work (4 hours travel per day), has New York Ranger and New York Yankee season tickets, and makes time for his buddies. I can honestly say that I have NEVER felt "shoehorned" into his schedule. I always feel like a priority, and despite the crazy scheduling, we spend LOTS of time together. My 9 year relationship was the polar opposite. I remember when my mother passed away eleven years ago, he did not even come to the wake or the funeral. He sent his family "by proxy" because he had a workshop to go to for his job. I made excuses at the time to all of my family and friends who were noticing his obvious absence, "He had to go, it's his career", but let's be real, If the situation were reversed, I would have moved mountains to be there for HIM. My sister told me not the be a "vaccuum cleaner", something that "sucks up the crumbs!" How right she was! I am a girl that wants the whole loaf of bread (and some vino wouldn't hurt) to sustain me. Lesson learned.